Along with our ideas, thoughts & beliefs, unfortunately each of our relationship is also based on some preconceived, & often wrong, notions; experienced by someone else. And surprisingly they travel throughout the society, city, state, nation & the whole world. They create a pressure on each individual, to be believed and often being weaker, we believe them blindly. Without thinking that there are equal chances that we may have a different experience.
The beautiful relationship of mother in law & daughter in law (the saas-bahu rishta) also falls into this category. I’ve seen families where they live together for years, but without talking to each other. Spreading weird vibes into the house, ignoring each other completely, without giving it a thought that what effect this behaviour would have on the gentle minds of the children of their house. And through which mental trauma, the son/husband is going through each day, who loves both the women equally & all he wants to see is, them together, smilingly.
Here I am sharing ten ways to get this eternal relationship improved:
Focus on love
As a mother, every woman teaches her kids to be affectionate towards all. You as a mother would have taught this to your son too, then why this ignorance towards your daughter in law?
As a daughter in law, don’t you think you must choose love over ego? As this is what you are teaching your children too.
Do it for your son/husband
Have you ever given it a thought about what your son/husband must have going through, because of this behaviour of the two of you. Actually, your love for him must be enough to get your relationship improved. Its okay if the ice is not melting from the other side. You take the initiative. You know even the toughest of the journeys can be traveled by taking an honest, first step. Then why are you underestimating yourself, when it comes to this beautiful relationship? You know it too that its not a relationship of two-three years. Then why to choose an unhealthy one?
Remember your strengths as a woman. You can do it!
See the long term effects
Have a glimpse of the future, where there is smile on the face of each family member. A family nurtured & cared by two honest, transparent & respectful women. Who chose love over their false egos.
Talk… as this is the only solution
When one decides to keep mum in some circumstances, where the opposite was needed, relationships start to freeze and with time they become crystals. Don’t let them convert into harsh ice. Talk it out, break the ice with your warmth. It’s all about how honestly you want it.
Analyse your role in the family
A woman is the axis, around whom, the house & family rotates. By not improving your relationship with the other woman of the house, you are underestimating your own worth.
Stop taking third person advice
There are but innumerate families, that are spoiled due to an outsider’s wrong advice, because it’s you, who knows how to handle your circumstances, not them. It’s your life, not theirs.
Ignore small happenings, be nonjudgmental & smile
I guess, its in the blood of the women to notice small, unimportant gestures, judge them harshly & in turn make their own life, tougher or I must say, miserable. This is my mom-in-law’s ideas, when I asked her about what she thinks about this topic. We share a very strong bond, she is indeed quite relaxed when it comes to judging her daughter in laws.
Tiny gestures make big differences
Few months back I coached a woman, who was not at all happy with the atmosphere of her family. When I asked her,’do you people wish Good morning or Good night, to each other? Do you spend some family time together, like having a meal or morning tea?’ The answer was ‘No’.
I believe its necessary to perform these daily rituals to have a healthy atmosphere in the family. For example, the women of the house can go for shopping together. If you are making a plan for the movie, you can certainly ask your mom-in-law to come along. You can often go out for family lunch or dinner, irrespective of the occasion.
Think broader, live better
Raise your thinking to higher levels, stop wasting your energy in small, useless things. When you are not okay in any particular relationship, you know something is bound inside you, waiting to be realised, to be released.
Let it go now & have a happy family.
Love & peace